Kuukausi: lokakuu 2022

#1693 Halloween 2022: Blood Sisters aka Slash (1987)

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A potential candidate for the worst horror movie of this Halloween, Blood Sisters takes place in an old bordello where a group of youngsters are spending a night in.

The concept, and overall execution is the tamest and lamest in ages, basically just following bunch of different people wandering around the house, getting inexplicably swept into the events of the erotic events of the house and then getting killed.

The ending of the movie is just as appalling as anything seen before it, very much as expected. Blood Sisters is bad even in the scale of slashers – and that’s saying something.

80s-o-meter: 45%

Total: 7%

#1692 Halloween 2022: Ghost Riders aka Ghostriders (1987)

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A gang of vicious outlaws from wild west era arrive to current day to shoot at a family whose forefather was involved in hanging their leader.

While the title of the movie gets the imagination running, the execution itself is much more on the boring side: the antagonists appear just as regular cowboys with unshaved shins and shoot at their victims from a distance, and could have as well been a local gang of drunkards.

Ghost Riders gets the menacing feeling right at times, but much of a horror movie this ain’t, despite the supernatural theme.

80s-o-meter: 60%

Total: 35%

#1691 Halloween 2022: Deadly Games aka The Eliminator (1982)

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Masked killer is doing away with women, and one of the sisters of the victims arrives to the scene to do her own investigations, only to romantically involved with a detective investigating the case. The detective often goes to play a round custom made board game with his suspicious friend as the killings go on.

Here’s the main problem with Deadly Games. We are from early on led to believe that the killer is either one of these gentlemen. Meanwhile we see three of them hanging out together as if this was a romantic comedy, just interrupted by killing scenes.

Although listed as horror movie, Deadly Games is not one despite a few more graphic kills to please the gore hounds, but instead a thriller. This means, it isn’t particularly scary, especially for those who’ve watched any modern television, and as such cannot really be recommended for your list of Halloween movies this year.

80s-o-meter: 75%

Total: 54%

#1690 Halloween 2022: Midnight aka John Russo’s Midnight aka Backwoods Massacre (1982)

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A girl runaway from her home runs into a family a maniacs in Pennsylvania’s backwoods that locks her up to prepare her for satanist sacrificial ritual.

John Russo’s (of the Night of the Living Dead fame) Midnight does not excel in its storyline, nor with its technical aspects, but a couple of aspects and tweaks here make the offering stand above your average early 80s horror movie in terms of keeping up one’s interest. First and foremost the movie takes sudden unexpected turns with both the protagonists and antagonists being vulnerable – something that so many horror movies often get very wrong.

80s-o-meter: 72%

Total: 60%

#1689 Halloween 2022: Night of the Demon (1980)

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Night of the Demon is one of those quite uneven low budget horror movies that I did not rate highly when watching through it, and it was only after reading the reviews that I learned that the movie enjoyed a cult status among the horror fans.

Basically a slasher with big foot – in other words a guy with patches of fake hair glued on him – Night of the Demon’s status escaped me, and only real positive thing I could say about it how the movie gets good kind of weird at times and at least tries something a bit new with its story of weird relationship between the big foot and a hermit woman.

For the gore hounds there’s dodgy killing effects to enjoy with perhaps the worst fake blood ever seen on the silver screen – I’m guessing cheap tomato juice. These kill scenes – or the story behind them – is perhaps the most interesting aspect or trivia of the movie, as most them were shot and posthumously added into the film by its producer completely as surprise of the director, a move which probably contributed quite heavily to the movie’s cult status.

80s-o-meter: 41%

Total: 22%

#1688 Halloween 2022: Retribution aka Retribution: The Ultimate Nightmare (1987)

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A good reminder to never judge a book by its cover, Retribution was the movie I looked the least forward to seeing this year after having seen its less than stellar poster a few times before.

Right off the bat the movie feels off and twisted, but in a good way. After surviving a suicide attempt a sympathetic artist George starts to experience violent nightmares leading to people getting killed. But it’s most interestingly a good an interesting array of well written characters and their often warm relationship with each other that makes Retribution stand out.

But, the movie also delivers in the horror aspect. The violent dreamlike episodes feel quite effective in contrast to the quiet and serene nature of the movie. This extends to the very end of the movie that delivers on all aspects of a first class horror movie.

80s-o-meter: 85%

Total: 87%

#1687 Halloween 2022: Play Dead aka Killer dog aka Satan’s Dog (1983)

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Perhaps the saddest concept for a movie this Halloween, Play Dead tries to sell us the concept of old madame doing some voodoo magic in her home and sending her dog to plot and carry out imaginative killings on her enemies.

It’s a stupid premise executed in a poor and uninteresting way.I can’t imagine the movie being able to entertain or scare anyone in 1983, let alone today.

80s-o-meter: 60%

Total: 5%

#1686 Halloween 2022: Nightwish (1989)

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I was hoping to come across at least one interesting horror movie within this year, and it was formerly unknown to me Nightwish (not the be mixed up with a Finnish symphonic metal band of the same name) that unexpectedly managed to provide if not all, then at least much of something original and different to keep my interest up this Halloween.

Mixing elements of thriller, horror, exorcism, monster movies and even a flair of sci-fi together, Nightwish starts off quite safe and even boring, but ventures on to many uncharted territories in its dream like episodes of a group of graduate students trying to escape from a house possessed by an unknown force while being detained by a derailed professor.

Nightwish gets weirder and weirder towards the end – but always in a good and entertaining way. The final events might have been super banal in every other context, but given that Nightwish still is campy 80s horror by its nature, coupled with the fact that the movie plays this card quite well the ending turns out in a satisfying fashion. Sure, there were tons of aspects that I did not like or care for like the henchman of the antagonist professor, and it’s these aspects for which I have to demerit a few points from otherwise surprisingly entertaining movie.

80s-o-meter: 89%

Total: 83%

#1685 Halloween 2022: The Final Conflict aka Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)

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A sequel to the two earlier Omen movies, released in 1976 and 1978 respectively, Omen III: The Final Conflict picks up the story when Damien, the satanic child, has now grown up and has gotten highly successful as a politician. It’s behind this facade that he works in shadows, running his own cult, eliminating those who stand in his way, attempting to find and kill a reborn Jesus baby, all while while trying to dodge the attacks of monk brotherhood trying to kill him using a set of sacred daggers.

The movie kicks off in a quite graphic and effective way with a scene of a politician resigning to make way for Damien to become the new American ambassador in UK. But it’s after this that movie defaults to quite average and uninspired depiction of good vs bad with a bits of bible as well as occultism thrown into the mix and does not grow nearly as menacing or intimidating that I’d hoped for.

80s-o-meter: 81%

Total: 61%

#1684 Halloween 2022: Death Screams aka Night Screams (1982)

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Oh dear, Death Screams wanders around every which way for ages with one pointless part after another before getting to the actual slashing.

It also loses to its counterparts of the era in multiple ways, being unable to produce imaginative kills nor an iconic antagonist. Where it succeeds though is casting perhaps the oldest men ever to attempt to pass as teenagers, plus one of the most annoying comic relief characters ever cracking jokes and goofing off in every scene.

Death Scream feels like multiple movies put into one, and there’s something likeable in the way it presents its characters and those trivial activities they engage in. But as a horror movie Death Screams just does not carry.

80s-o-meter: 68%

Total: 21%

#1683 Halloween 2022: Beyond Dream’s Door (1989)

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Horror as a genre is something that seems to attract indie movie makers, and the results are often more clumsy and weird rather than scary.

Beyond Dream’s Door, a brainchild of an Ohio based director/writer Jay Woelfel is interesting due to its team of unknown actors and inexperienced crew being able create something that looks and feels like an actual movie. Woelfel’s directing is surprisingly solid, and the camera drives never feel odd or off, but rather professional throughout. The movie’s story of nightmares coming alive and haunting is interesting, and as the reality and dream world get mixed up together, the movie manages to capture the weird atmosphere it was going for in the first place.

But the story gets far too convoluted for its own good, and the monster effects – as nice as they are for an indie movie – must’ve worked much better in VHS tape hooked up to a CRT television rather than modern high resolution TV sets.

80s-o-meter: 81%

Total: 60%

#1682 Halloween 2022: The People Across the Lake (1988)

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Funny how genre affects on how you view a name of a movie.I originally mistook The People Across the Lake as a made for TV drama, and my instant assumption was a tired costume drama, but upon learning that this is actually a horror movie the name became much more interesting one. In fact, I quite like it!

Many made for TV horror movies of the 80s have been positive surprises, quite unexpectedly so. Generally they have the courage to try out something a little different and rely on eery feeling instead of excessive gore, and the same goes with The People Across the Lake.

I was super pleased to see Barry Corbin in one of the main roles in the movie, but given how I’ve learned to perceive him, the role seemed bit of a misfit for him in the end, but it’s no deal breaker by any means. The movie could have built up much more suspense towards the end, but takes a bit too easy path in the end making The People Across the Lake entertaining – but not exceptional.

80s-o-meter: 87%

Total: 72%

#1681 Halloween 2022: Evil Laugh (1986)

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What followed the early 80s stream of slashers was a stream of slasher comedies. I would argue that most slashers are quite humorous and over the board in their nature to begin with, and I’m sure the teams behind them were having a good laugh while making them, so in this light there’s very little point of parodising them other than justifying arriving to the slasher party several years too late.

If I had not check IMDB, I would have never known Evil Laugh was a comedy. Sure, it’s more goofy in some aspects and the characters make references to other slasher movies, but the movie is never laugh out loud funny.

Youngers get slashed, there’s some naked skin, one imaginative killing and possibly one of the most stupid looking antagonists, and that’s pretty much that. No matter how bad slashers are, at least they earn my respect for trying. Comedies like this too afraid to even be proper slashers don’t even have that going for them.

80s-o-meter: 83%

Total: 19%

#1680 Halloween 2022: Saturn 3 (1980)

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Almost ten years into having Halloween features and still haven’t reviewed Saturn 3?? Well, to my defence it is a British movie after all but featuring US leads and undoubtedly better than the majority of similar Hollywood movies of the era, so it definitely still does earn its place here.

The film takes place in a remote station in Saturn’s third moon aka Tethys, aka Saturn 3, where a pair of a man and female scientists (Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett) receive a visitor from earth, Captain Benson (Harvey Keitel) whom we witness earlier assassinating the person who was to originally arrive at the station. There he starts to build a helper robot with an organic brain that he programs using a direct brain link connected to himself. As it goes, the robot picks the negative traits from him, including a crush to the female scientist and it is downhill from thereon.

The movie looks great and cinematic, but not 80s, nor 70s but strangely almost 60s or 50s in style. Having Kirk Douglas in the cast furthermore strengthens this feeling, but in this case I don’t really mind as it all works out quite well. The small cast is also a triumph with Keitel performing the role of a antagonist perfectly, Fawcett making for a perfect love interest that I can’t blame Benson falling on, and finally Kirk Douglas – already 64 at the time but in amazingly good shape, perfect for the role – whom you just could not have replaced and have the movie feel the same.

80s-o-meter: 55%

Total: 81%

#1679 Halloween 2022: Beware! Children at Play (1989)

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Creepy kids in movies are certainly nothing new, and Beware! Children at Play actually does remarkably bad in this sense. The kids lost in the forest and attacking adults don’t feel menacing at all, more like as if a teacher in a school had decided to direct a short film of scary kids in a forest.

But those who know the movie by its reputation already are aware what the movie is most well known for (and I don’t think I’m revealing any real spoilers here); it’s gory showdown in the that really caught me totally surprised, and I’m still not quite totally if what I saw actually took place in the movie.

Everything preceding this event is just a buildup to justify the ending, and if it’s quite unbelievably mind-boggling cult B-movie to have a laugh with your gorehound friends, Beware! Children at Play has got you covered. Those looking for actual scary movie and frightening events should look elsewhere.

80s-o-meter: 82%

Total: 50%

#1678 Halloween 2022: Doctor Hackenstein aka Dr. Hackenstein (1988)

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A parody of Frankestein line of books and movies, Troma’s Doctor Hackenstein cannot be discussed without comparing it to the great Re-Animator that has a similar premise, and was released only three years earlier.

Where Re-Animator reinvents the mad doctor turning dead into living beings, and does so with hilarious results, Doctor Hackenstein remains strangely tame, only ending up a slightly gorier, more naked and a bit sillier version of its paragon.

If Re-Animator did not exist, Doctor Hackenstein would have been a nice breath of fresh air in horror comedies. Even though it’s nowhere near the stinkers often seen in this genre, the team should have really leveraged upon learnings from Re-Animator and try to do something much more outstanding, instead of settling for playing the second fiddle.

80s-o-meter: 0%

Total: 60%

#1677 Halloween 2022: Scared Alive aka Island of Blood aka Whodunit (1982)

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If it is a pure slasher you want to watch this Halloween, the lesser known Island of Blood is not a bad option.

It is a pure slasher so you get pretty much what you expect: a group of youngsters getting killed one by one in an imaginative manner.

The most distinctive aspect of the movie is they way the killer plays a quite catchy song with lyrics ”Burn me, stab me, chop me, nail me, boil me, saw me” before commencing the killing. On top of that the end, especially that last few seconds are refreshingly different from what you’d expect.

80s-o-meter: 80%

Total: 59%