Unimpressive dance numbers, and downright bad musical pieces make A Chorus Line a really long and painful 90 minutes.
Michael Douglas’ solid portrayal of a hard-boiled director is wasted in this poopfest of a movie.
80s-o-meter: 60%
Total: 24%
Unimpressive dance numbers, and downright bad musical pieces make A Chorus Line a really long and painful 90 minutes.
Michael Douglas’ solid portrayal of a hard-boiled director is wasted in this poopfest of a movie.
80s-o-meter: 60%
Total: 24%
Defence attourney faces conflicts of interest while defending a man accused of killing her wife in Jagged Edge, a working but lightweight psychological thriller.
80s-o-meter: 46%
Total: 78%
It’s too bad there isn’t a genre called ’You crazy Americans’, shouted out with a heartful laughter in thick east European accent. Because this is the kind of 80s that would fall right into this category.
There’s something special to the cold war comedies of the 80s, seeing all the huge problem just melt away with a little cultural exchange of Vodka and western rock’n’roll.
The Experts earns a 20% baseline score for the movie itself, a 10% bonus for Kelly Preston and additional 9% for just the sheer inanity and stupidity of the whole concept and story and a multiplier of two for being a cold war comedy.
80s-o-meter: 90%
Total: 78%
Apart from the some of the imaginative makeups, An American Werewolf in London feels extremely outdated and dull and does not live up to anywhere near the hype.
80s-o-meter: 46%
Total: 29%
A high school loner tries desperately to find his way away from the doom waiting him in the afternoon in Three O’Clock High, a terrifyingly terrific comedy that is just as suspenseful as the best thrillers out there.
The antagonist played by Richard Tyson is by leaps and bounds the baddest, most remorseless school thug of the 80s, and should be up the with the most iconic and chilling movie villains with the likes of Hannibal Lecter and Sergeant Hartman.
80s-o-meter: 96%
Total: 93%
A neurotic composer is plotting to kill his allegedly cheating wife and plant it on her lover in a dull romantic melodrama-comedy called Unfaithfully Yours .. and I really couldn’t be bothered if he’d succeeded or failed.
80s-o-meter: 76%
Total: 45%
Has numerous truly funny moments, but as a feature film Erik the Viking wanders along aimlessly and struggles to keep up the interest throughout the movie.
80s-o-meter: 5%
Total: 51%
Driving Miss Daisy is a slow movie to say at least, but once it starts to finally unravel it portrays commendably the complex relationship of Jewish upper class woman and her chauffeur destined to ageing together.
80s-o-meter: 2%
Total: 76%
A picture book of 80’s cliches, Playing For Keeps loans too much from other movies and takes all the easy solutions, making it feel too plastic, calculated and artificial.
80s-o-meter: 95%
Total: 61%
Plain Clothes manages to find a fresh angle in the overcrowded teen high school movie genre and is just both entertaining and funny, without trying too hard.
80s-o-meter: 89%
Total: 81%
Mortuary Academy succeeds well in its goal to be as distasteful as possible, but takes too much time to evolve to a actual movie from just a collection of gags.
80s-o-meter: 69%
Total: 59%
Depending on your level of cynicism, Beaches is either a tacky and sappy tear jerker – or a touching movie about friendship that lasts over a lifetime, and beyond.
Personally to me it felt too much like a calculated academy award tackle.
80s-o-meter: 66%
Total: 55%
Pavel Chekov of the original Star Trek fame stars in Moontrap, his own scifi horror title that laughs in the face of logic, common sense and scientific facts, making it a strange, puzzling experience.
80s-o-meter: 48%
Total: 42%
What could be the worst first date movie ever, snuff-styled documentary-like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer will leave you feeling unsettled for a long time after the end credits have scrolled.
80s-o-meter: 58%
Total: 72%
Summer Lovers starts off as what feels like an awkward voyeristic movie about free sex and love but evolves into a working tale of endless summer, youth and friendship.
80s-o-meter: 78%
Total: 68%
Think Meryl Streep’s overrated? Watch her give a magnificently flawless Oscar worthy performance as a polish immigrant in Sophie’s Choice and you’re bound to change your mind.
80s-o-meter: 5%
Total: 85%
Pandemonium wouldn’t be such a bad effort overall but it just tries much too hard to be funny and packs in too many failing gags to make the experience enjoyable.
80s-o-meter: 68%
Total: 47%
While not quite as solid as Airplane or Naked Gun series, Top Secret is still a classic and seems to pack in more visual gags than all the other Abrahams-Zucker-Zucker movies combined.
80s-o-meter: 49%
Total: 88%
Mystic Pizza is one of those movies that never manages to grab you, and like most romantic comedies, is heavy on the romance side and way too slim on the comedy side.
80s-o-meter: 89%
Total: 31%
Reviewing B-grade movies is not maybe the easiest of tasks. They’re clumsy, amateurish and in many cases outright inane. But some of them do have the underdog mentality which makes you root for them, like you would a jamaican bobsled team.
Not of This Earth starring the controversial porn star Traci Lords is not a good movie by any standard. It has that certain cheapness written all over it: Bad acting, cheap effects, boom mics and crew visible in shots. The script is dumb and dialogue sucks and all in all it haas that feel of a cheap porn movie, but without the actual sex scenes.
Therefore it’s a big surprise the movie manages to entertain. Why, I have no clue – it just does.
That’s just the way underdogs are sometimes.
80s-o-meter: 66%
Total: 61%